"Finding myself" in glorifying God

The recent story to hit the news about a woman going to Japan only to return to admit she'd realized she never really wanted to be a mother to her then 3 & 5 year old boys was appalling to say the least.  You can watch her story here.

While I thought her story to be sickening (my stomach literally turned as I watched the video), I also thought about how each of us are like her.  If it were not FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, we mothers would go chasing after things outside our homes that would potentially result in making us just like this woman.  We certainly have it in us as fallen creatures, don't we?

I can't tell you how many times I've attempted to pursue some activity outside the home, (even seemingly "godly" ones), that the Lord would ever-so-gently lead me back to home & lovingly point out each of my sweet, precious ones, showing me how much more important they are than anything else.  Even this blog of mine could keep me away from their everyday needs of nurturing.  I have to discipline myself to do this when they or my husband are not needing my immediate, full attention.  Otherwise, I could turn it into an activity that would pull me away from my God-given duty & role of being a wife & mother.

When I held my first-born child in my arms, the love I felt in my heart was something I never knew I was capable of containing!  It was so amazingly overwhelming, I felt like I was going to burst!  With each child came that same intense, protective, fierce, momma-bear love.  I just can't imagine my life with out any of them!  Through it all, God is the ultimate source of that blessing IMMENSE love.  He is the ultimate source of this wonderful family I've been blessed to have.  He has carefully taught me how to find FULFILLMENT & JOY in being a wife & mother for the purpose of glorifying HIM, not myself.  In fact, whenever I tried to live for "myself", it only brought frustration, sadness & grief.

I praise Him for guiding me each day in showing me my sinfulness & that the only REAL way to "finding myself" is through obedience to His Holy Word.  If it were not for HIM & HIS WORD, I would be just like that woman in the story.  I am no different than any other sinful person out in the world.  EXCEPT that God has saved me by GRACE, through FAITH--and that (faith) NOT of myself...it is a GIFT FROM HIM, not as a result of something I've done (because I can't do ANYTHING to earn that gift!), so that I should not boast!  If I could earn His gift, it wouldn't be grace (unmerited favor) anymore!